Wedding Planning DIY – Start with A Wedding Venue
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Congrats on getting engaged! You’ve got the ring, and now you’re probably wondering, “now what?!” The first step you need to take is to visit wedding venues.
Being a 2023 bride, I can understand how overwhelmed you must feel. My now husband and I got engaged in October 2022, and planned my wedding in 9 months to have it in July 2023.
I have a personality that wants to get things done as fast as I can. Having too many things to do can overwhelm me and I make myself sick worrying about the amount of tasks I have to do.
Needless to say, I wanted to get most of the big details out of the way as soon as possible!
The first thing I did was look into potential wedding venues.
I wanted to get married as soon as I could! I was under the impression that it would take at least an entire year to plan a wedding from start to finish, so my husband and I were thinking that we would have our wedding the following Fall.
Notice above that I stated I planned my wedding in 9 months, but I originally planned for one year. Keep reading, I’ll get to that.
Wedding venues book up wedding dates fast, so I searched online for venues in close proximity to where we live and booked a few appointments.
Here are my 5 tips to guide you through your wedding venue search:
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TIP #1: Book appointments ahead of time to visit wedding venues.
I do not recommend just showing up and walking around. You probably aren’t allowed to do that at most venues anyway! If you have a venue tour, you are more likely to have your questions answered on the spot and you’ll get loads of informational paperwork.
You’ll also be able to get a feel for how booked they are in the next year or coming years.
Based on my research, most wedding venues do not have their prices listed on their websites. A few of them will give you this information by email or by phone, but most of them will want you to come take a tour before they give you that information.
TIP #2: Look for wedding venues in close proximity to your home.
You’ll have to go there quite a few times throughout the process, so you’ll want to make sure you can get there in a timely manner. For reference, my particular wedding venue closed the office at 4:00pm, which meant that I had to jet from work to make a 3:30pm appointment for payments.
If you’ve been dreaming of having your wedding across the country in California, you may want to think realistically about how many times you’ll have to go out there and visit. Can you afford that many plane tickets while also paying for a wedding?
Even driving an hour to your wedding venue may become a nuisance with the amount of times you’ll need to go there.
I’m not saying don’t select a wedding venue because it may be far from your home, you just may want to consider closer options.
TIP #3: You DO NOT have to commit to anything on the wedding venue tour!
A wedding venue is a business. They will follow similar business models to those of car salesmen. They want your deposit money. You’ll be sold all of the rainbows and butterflies that come with the venue during your initial appointment.
It is important to go in with the idea that you do not have to commit on that particular day. Now, if you really fall in love with the wedding venue, that is a different story. I still recommend waiting to commit and here’s why:
- You probably have not toured all of the wedding venues on your list.
- You may not be able to read your partner’s mind in front of the tour guide.
Some wedding venues will allow you to place a “hold” on the particular wedding date that you are interested in without paying a deposit. My venue had a 3 day hold policy, where we were able to go home after the tour, discuss everything, and then commit and pay the deposit 3 days later, knowing our date was still secure.
If you fell in love with a wedding venue, there’s a small chance that your partner may not feel the same. They may have some questions or opinions that you had not thought of and it is important to discuss these things privately.
TIP #4: You don’t necessarily have to “pick a date” ahead of time.
When you go on wedding venue tours, you’ll almost always get the same exact question asked first every time: “What is your date?” or, “Do you have a date picked out yet?”
You’ll want to have an idea of when you want to get married, but you definitely don’t need to solidify a date. I would honestly recommend not having one particular date in mind, because chances are you may not be able to book at your dream venue on that date specifically and you’ll need to be open to change.
Instead of picking a specific wedding date, think of an entire season or month as a possibility.
Like I said before, we were initially thinking that we could get married the following Fall. Ideally, we were thinking we would get married in Fall 2023.
However, because of Covid and the backup that ensued after Covid, the wedding venue that we fell in love with was booked every single Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and most Thursdays, until January 2024.
Except for Sunday, July 9.
“A Sunday wedding? No one does that!” was the thought going through my mind.
Initially, we said no way.
This is why it is important to be able to go home and discuss everything with your partner.
We weighed our options. This wedding venue had an amazing outdoor area with gardens and fountains that had a light show at night. If we chose a January date, the fountains would be turned off, and we would not be able to have all of the beautiful flowers and greenery in our wedding photos.
Then we started thinking about Sunday, July 9. We are teachers, so actually this date would work out very well for us with being off in the summer. We’d be able to relax for a few weeks between school ending and the big day, and then we would be able to relax after and have a bigger date span for when we could plan our honeymoon.
I was worried about whether people would come with it being on a Sunday and most people having to work the next day.
Then I realized, those who want to come will show up. The out-of-towners will take off the next day and stay overnight as long as I provide the information well in advance.
All that being said, never in my life did I imagine getting married in July. I always imagined a Spring or Fall wedding to have gorgeous scenery and cooler temperatures.
Had I gone in with a solidified wedding date, I may have missed the opportunity to book with my dream wedding venue.
TIP #5: Have an idea of guest count.
The next question the tour guide will ask will likely be your guest count, so you’ll want to be thinking about that and have an idea before you wedding venue shop.
Having an idea of your guest count is important because many places have a required minimum amount of guests.
Our venue in particular had a 150 guest minimum on Fridays and Saturdays. This would have actually been a huge problem for us! Good thing we booked for a Sunday because the minimum is 100 guests and we had about 116.
We also got a pretty sweet discounted rate for simply booking on a Sunday.
It is important to have an idea of your guest count so you have an idea of what you can afford. When the wedding venue gives you the price per head, you’ll be able to see if that is a realistic price for you. Or, you may need to trim your guest count down.
Make sure you’re also comparing the price per head to other wedding venues in the area and considering what they offer in addition to just food (i.e. open bar, cake, decorations, etc.).
Finally, enjoy the process.
This is the fun part! You’re in a phase of life that you likely have never been in before. Take the time to soak everything in and don’t get too stressed about the logistics or financials.
You’ll soon be walking down the aisle and it will all be over in the blink of an eye, so don’t let it pass you by!
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